Your essay brought back memories of my college roommate who danced topless to pay tuition and rent. One evening, when I returned from my waitressing job, she had brought home a customer. Imagine my chagrin, and his, when the customer turned out to be my advanced colonial history professor.
Smart stuff. I appreciate the point of view. I was in SF/North Beach in 1969, but I never went to strip clubs. Too young, too broke. Still have never been. But watched some Mitchell Brothers movies. Anyhoo: your boyfriend lost all your money playing 3-card monte? Where was he from? Most city-smart kids as young as 12 know to never play. Most crooked game ever until Musk was given the keys to the U.S. treasury.
Thanks. It turns out the camera crew (2 dudes) were under the Mitchell Bros. umbrella. He was an LA kinda guy. He was smart until he wasn't. Right about Musk - talk about terrifying.
Wonderful essay. I particulary like how you brought your personal experience, your past and now the present. Unfortunately the tide is changing with the new administration. I just started reading The Lion Women of Tehran. I am up to the part where the lead character who lives in NY receives a letter from her childhood friend still living in Iran. Their lives as children in Tehran are long gone with the new regime. Fingers crossed it doesn't happen in America. We've, you've come a long way since the 1960's. So much to lose.
I always enjoy reading your memoirs because I learn new information about the subject and new things about you, my friend. I’m always impressed with your thoughtfulness and self reflection.
I enjoyed your post. It made me uncomfortable, which is very good. Your exquisite writing saw me through. Very cool. I am comfortable with this: Sex, like any experience, is a lens through which we learn to see ourselves. I also know that the patriarchal lens that seeps through all of our reality has taken women's right to own, know, and shamelessly enjoy the pleasure of sex and sexuality. I do know that the degree to which we can reclaim our sexuality for ourselves is a measure of our becoming whole. I am grateful that you are speaking so clearly about your experience.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. Have you seen Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, that I mentioned. It's truly poignant, and I think speaks to so many women.
Such a timely piece. I love how the case against and then for porn was at bottom about self love. And how I would have loved to be in the room at Candida Royale's memorial!
This is great, Nancy -- a real exploration into attitudes, behaviors, and feelings that have plagued and / or liberated people (women especially) for who knows how long. I admire your willingness to have tried out ways of being, and your ability to contend with the consequences of each of those experiences. Mine were so different -- yes, in college, I slept with lots of dates and / or boyfriends, without guilt about it, but also without any real thought about feminism as a factor, and no exposure to porn. In looking back these years later, I see how my sense of my feminism then was so limited, and how limited I was about the value of porn. I appreciate this essay as a real opportunity for all of us to benefit from investigating our attitudes towards porn. And, may I say, your writing is, simply, wonderful.
Reading your reply to my comment these many days later, I hope you had many positive responses to your essay. You’re such a talented writer, Nancy. I’m so glad I follow your Substack!
Wow Nancy! What a great piece! I was a junior in high school in the Bay Area at that time and really struggling with the mixed messages I was receiving about sex. Free love, which appealed to my budding sexual drive, and cultural messaging everywhere that defined sex without marriage for women as slutty. It was seriously damaging on so many levels. I was honestly in awe of women who were comfortable and unapologetic about their sexuality. I saw my first porn film at 19. I was young, had no trustworthy guidance, and it affected me deeply. You may remember those times in CA, everyone was naked, all the time, including me. 😂
Your essay brought back memories of my college roommate who danced topless to pay tuition and rent. One evening, when I returned from my waitressing job, she had brought home a customer. Imagine my chagrin, and his, when the customer turned out to be my advanced colonial history professor.
Now, that's a story.
Smart stuff. I appreciate the point of view. I was in SF/North Beach in 1969, but I never went to strip clubs. Too young, too broke. Still have never been. But watched some Mitchell Brothers movies. Anyhoo: your boyfriend lost all your money playing 3-card monte? Where was he from? Most city-smart kids as young as 12 know to never play. Most crooked game ever until Musk was given the keys to the U.S. treasury.
Thanks. It turns out the camera crew (2 dudes) were under the Mitchell Bros. umbrella. He was an LA kinda guy. He was smart until he wasn't. Right about Musk - talk about terrifying.
Nancy, you have led an endlessly fascinating life and you write about it so well! (What a terrific segue from the TC research stuff!)
Thanks so much, Ken.
Wonderful essay. I particulary like how you brought your personal experience, your past and now the present. Unfortunately the tide is changing with the new administration. I just started reading The Lion Women of Tehran. I am up to the part where the lead character who lives in NY receives a letter from her childhood friend still living in Iran. Their lives as children in Tehran are long gone with the new regime. Fingers crossed it doesn't happen in America. We've, you've come a long way since the 1960's. So much to lose.
Thank you, and yes about what's next. Many years ago I read the book Reading Lolita in Tehran, about a women's reading group. Terrific.
I always enjoy reading your memoirs because I learn new information about the subject and new things about you, my friend. I’m always impressed with your thoughtfulness and self reflection.
Thank you, my friend.
I enjoyed your post. It made me uncomfortable, which is very good. Your exquisite writing saw me through. Very cool. I am comfortable with this: Sex, like any experience, is a lens through which we learn to see ourselves. I also know that the patriarchal lens that seeps through all of our reality has taken women's right to own, know, and shamelessly enjoy the pleasure of sex and sexuality. I do know that the degree to which we can reclaim our sexuality for ourselves is a measure of our becoming whole. I am grateful that you are speaking so clearly about your experience.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. Have you seen Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, that I mentioned. It's truly poignant, and I think speaks to so many women.
Such a timely piece. I love how the case against and then for porn was at bottom about self love. And how I would have loved to be in the room at Candida Royale's memorial!
Yes, you probably would've loved it.
This is great, Nancy -- a real exploration into attitudes, behaviors, and feelings that have plagued and / or liberated people (women especially) for who knows how long. I admire your willingness to have tried out ways of being, and your ability to contend with the consequences of each of those experiences. Mine were so different -- yes, in college, I slept with lots of dates and / or boyfriends, without guilt about it, but also without any real thought about feminism as a factor, and no exposure to porn. In looking back these years later, I see how my sense of my feminism then was so limited, and how limited I was about the value of porn. I appreciate this essay as a real opportunity for all of us to benefit from investigating our attitudes towards porn. And, may I say, your writing is, simply, wonderful.
My goodness, thank you. I was a tad worried about how this would be received.
Reading your reply to my comment these many days later, I hope you had many positive responses to your essay. You’re such a talented writer, Nancy. I’m so glad I follow your Substack!
Wow Nancy! What a great piece! I was a junior in high school in the Bay Area at that time and really struggling with the mixed messages I was receiving about sex. Free love, which appealed to my budding sexual drive, and cultural messaging everywhere that defined sex without marriage for women as slutty. It was seriously damaging on so many levels. I was honestly in awe of women who were comfortable and unapologetic about their sexuality. I saw my first porn film at 19. I was young, had no trustworthy guidance, and it affected me deeply. You may remember those times in CA, everyone was naked, all the time, including me. 😂
Thanks so much. I'd love to chat sometime about how you were affected. I'm working on a book or the book is working on me. LOL
I would love that!
Love this piece, Nancy! You are awesome!
From you, Barbara, that means so much to me. Thank you.